Glory Baby

Four years ago today, we miscarried our first baby.  I still think of our first baby often & wonder what our life would be like today with a preschooler.  The loss of our first baby has taken on a different kind of hurt in the past year.  Before Isaac joined our family, I always imagined our first baby as a newborn, and my pain was borne from the fact that I'd never hold that baby in my arms.  But, parenting Isaac from a newborn into a child with his own distinct personality makes me wonder what kind of personality our first baby would have had.  That makes me hurt for him or her even more, because I realize that we've missed out on knowing that baby whom God made completely unique unto himself or herself. 

I'm never one to say that the loss of our first baby was "worth" it because of all the good things that happened as a result of our miscarriage and subsequent infertility.  But, I can say that I am thankful for the good God has brought from our pain.  God has flooded our lives with friends that we likely wouldn't be as close to if it weren't for our shared experiences of loss.  I've been privileged to be a part of an incredible group of women at Keystone Church, Threads of Hope, that I wouldn't otherwise be in if it weren't for this hard part of our life.  And we never would have explored adoption, which eventually led us to Isaac.  These blessings in our life are the "good things" that God has grown from very tough times.  And even though I now have a baby in my arms, there are still days that I hurt.  But, God is taking these ashes of my life and making them into something beautiful....He is not done yet, but day by day, He is making all things new. 

Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..

You were growing, what happened dear?

You disappeared on us baby…baby..

Heaven will hold you before we do

Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…

Until we’re home with you…

But we miss you everyday Miss you in every way

But we know there’s a day when we will hold you, we will hold you

You’ll kiss our tears away when we’re home to stay

Can’t wait for the day when we will see you, we will see you

So baby let sweet Jesus hold you ‘til mom and dad can hold you…

You’ll just have heaven before we do

You’ll just have heaven before we do

Sweet little baby, it’s hard to understand it ‘cause we’re hurting, we are hurting

But there is healing and we know we’re stronger people through the growing

And in knowing that all things work together for our good

And God works His purposes just like He said He would…

Just like He said He would…