Ever since we've left the hospital with Emma, I've been looking forward to having a few moments to write down her story and all the amazing details God orchestrated to bring this sweet baby into our family. It's early morning...I just finished feeding Emma and she's back to sleep, so this is the perfect time to write. I really don't even know where to begin...from how Emma's birthmother (
L) chose Adoption Network and subsequently us as Emma's family...to the incredible faith of
L's parents that supported her through the hard decision of placing Emma...to the complete change of heart in Emma's birthfather that caused him to willingly sign his paperwork--there are so many mini-stories within the larger story of our Emma.
Friday afternoon--I was in Minnesota visiting my sister and Grandma Dolores for a few days. Around 4:30 on Friday afternoon, my phone rang. It was our adoption consultant, Jan, on a conference call with
L. Of course, all I did was cry. I did manage to tell her how incredibly grateful we were that she chose us. Jan asked me some questions such as how David and I met, how we plan on disciplining our children, and if we were open to staying in touch with
L after the baby was born. We ended the call with
L promising to let me know as soon as her water broke or she went to the hospital.
Monday morning, 1:47 a.m. My phone rang with an unknown Missouri number. I answered, and it was H--L's mom. L's water had broke around midnight, and L was about to be taken back for her c-section! I called Dave and woke him up. He'd already had everything packed since the previous Friday night. He had a longer drive from Texas than I did from Minnesota, so he left pretty quickly. I woke up my grandma and told her that our baby girl was on the way! Emily, Caleb, and I left the Twin Cities around 3:30 and headed south!
We stopped at a gas station in Iowa, and while I was inside
H sent this picture to me! Emma was born at 2:16 a.m. and was 6 lbs, 13 oz. and 20 inches. Emily and I just stared at the picture forever in the middle of the gas station--we couldn't believe she was really here! After we got the picture, Caleb drove even faster. ;)
I slept off and on, but I remember waking up while the sun rising. I snapped this picture through the window. It doesn't show how truly beautiful and PINK the sunrise was!
We arrived at Heartland Hospital in St. Joseph around 9:30 a.m. Right after we walked in, H came out to the lobby to bring me back to L's room. Meeting L was a moment I will never forget. We were both teary, and it seemed like time stopped as we hugged and introduced. She immediately passed Emma to me...I couldn't get over how perfect and tiny she was. I spent about an hour in L's room with her and H. Then, L wanted to meet my sister Emily, so Emily came back to see L and Emma. L was exhausted, so after awhile she rested while Emily & I took Emma to the nursery. Caleb came back to meet her, and then Dave arrived after a long drive!
 |
| Meeting Auntie Em! |
David's parents, Tim & Susie, had been in Iowa for the weekend for Susie's dad's 90th birthday party. They had planned on flying home to Colorado on Monday. But, before Emma was born or we even had a match for her, "for no reason at all" they changed their tickets to Tuesday. It worked out perfectly for them to drive down for the day to meet Emma!
Dave's Uncle Randy & Aunt Avis live in Camden Point, Missouri, which is just 25 minutes from the hospital where Emma was born. They are graciously hosting us (and spoiling us!) as we wait to head home to Texas. They also came on Monday afternoon to meet Emma! For having such a fast adoption match in a different state, Emma had a lot of loving family at the hospital to meet her right away!
On Monday afternoon, our lawyer called me to talk about coming to the hospital on Wednesday so that L could sign her papers. Then she said, "Also, I just got off the phone with Emma's birthfather. He's very upset and is saying he won't sign and wants her back." At that point, I passed the phone to Dave and fell on the floor sobbing, "I just can't do this again." The thought of losing another baby at the hospital, as we did with Isaac, was too much. Dave talked with our lawyer for a long time. When he hung up, he told me that we weren't going to hold back any love from Emma because of our fear of losing her. Dave and I prayed and cried until I had no tears left. We finally went back into the hallway and saw L's parents, Tim and Susie, and Randy & Avis in a circle. Dave explained what the lawyer had said about the birthfather, and then L's dad said, "We have to pray." We spent the next 20 minutes praying over Emma, L, Emma's birthfather, and everyone else involved in the adoption. After all praying together, L's parents treated us to dinner from Chick-Fil-A, where L's dad is a general manager. Nothing beats Chick-Fil-A, especially in a moment like this!
Even while we were praying at the hospital, we know that many of you were praying for us, too. I'm not at all going to say that the following 2 days were easy, but I had a strong sense that God was carrying me. It was very hard not knowing if Emma's birthfather would sign or not--there were no guarantees. That evening, I took Emma down to my hospital room for a long time and prayed for her and my heart. God helped me realize that there was nothing I could do to control either of Emma's birthparents or the outcome of her adoption...all I could do was keep moving ahead and loving Emma until the day for the papers to be signed.
Tuesday, February 21--Dave left the hospital at 3:30 a.m. to fly back to Texas for 2 days of work. My mom flew in around 8:30 that morning to be with me. We spent most of the morning with
L, her mom
H, and little Emma in
L's hospital room.
L was so gracious to "share" Emma so much with us all in the hospital. Being at the hospital for Emma's adoption was so different than
our experience with Isaac. Isaac's birthparents left the hospital the afternoon that he was born, so Dave and I soaked up every minute with him in the hospital. This time, everything was so much more bittersweet and emotional. The most special part of being at the hospital with
L was how well our families got to know each other.
L told me several times that she was so happy to be able to get to know David and me during our time at the hospital, and she was also thrilled to meet three of Emma's four grandparents.
L is adopted herself, which was a huge part of why she chose adoption for Emma.
L's mom,
H, and her dad shared openly with David and me about the pain they experienced with infertility before adopting
L and her biological brother.
L's mom and dad are strong believers who had prayed for Emma since her conception; and, being adoptive parents themselves, they were thrilled for us to add Emma to our family.
On Tuesday afternoon, our lawyer called Emma's birthfather again to discuss signing his papers. He said that he wanted to ask David and me some questions. Our lawyer tried calling both of us on a conference call, but it was Dave who was able to answer the call. (I'm sure I was busy cuddling Emma and chatting with H and L.) ;) For nearly an hour, Emma's birthfather asked David questions such as, "Why is your faith important to you? How strong is your marriage with Bethany? Will you tell Emma about me?" David said that his questions showed how deeply he was working through his decision of signing. Many family and friends were praying for David during the hour that he talked with Emma's birthfather. At the end of the conference call, Emma's birthfather told David and the lawyer, "If I was going to pick anyone to raise Emma, it would be you and your wife!"
After ending the conference call, the lawyer called me to say that Emma's birthfather agreed to sign his paperwork on Wednesday afternoon! This was an amazing answer to prayer!!
That evening, my mom, H, L, and I all had dinner together in the cafeteria. It was so special to be able to chat and share stories about our lives. By the end of our time in the hospital, H and L didn't feel like "Emma's birthfamily"--they felt like our family. That is part of the beauty of adoption! Emma is blessed to have so many people to love her in all of our families.
Wednesday, February 22--this was the day we were waiting for. Psalm 46:1, "God is our refuge and strength, our ever-present help" was a verse I claimed over and over on Wednesday.
I visited L very early on Wednesday morning. Just like me, she was always up for a good cup of coffee, so I got coffee for both of us. We drank our coffee and passed Emma between us as we talked about her plans for the future. It was a sweet time that I'll always remember.
That afternoon, my mom, H, and I were all in L's room when L got a phone call from a friend. All of a sudden L started sobbing. She got off the phone with her friend, and her mom, H, asked her what was wrong. She somehow choked out that the fact that she was about to say goodbye to Emma in a few hours had really hit her. H, my mom, and I surrounded L and prayed for her...we were all sobbing. Seeing firsthand the pain that L and her family were going through--even though they believed adoption to be the best choice for Emma--was excrutiating.
My mom and I went back to my hospital room for the rest of the afternoon. So many of you were praying for both of Emma's birthparents. One of my friends sent me this picture...at first I couldn't believe it:
Several of our sweet friends from Keystone had met at our house on Wednesday to pray over our family and Emma's adoption. We know that so many more of you were praying as Emma's birthfather signed his paperwork at 2:00 and L signed hers at 4:30. After the lawyer's assistant had been in L's hospital room for about an hour going through all her paperwork, H came down to my hospital room and told my mom and me that everything was going great. This was such a blessing in such a stressful time. H was a support to both L and me during these 3 days in the hospital!
Around 5:45, the lawyer's assistant came back to my hospital room to get my mom and me. She took us down to L's hospital room, where L and her family were saying their last good-byes to Emma. I don't think anything could have prepared me for a moment like this. Watching L say goodbye to Emma was just heart-wrenching. Our great joy of welcoming Emma to our family came at such selfless love on L's part. We are forever grateful.
Together, L's family, my mom, and I all walked out to the hospital doors. I think every nurse and hospital worker in the OB ward was crying with us. One of L's nurses, Jeanette, helped L pass Emma's carrier to me. We all hugged again. My mom and I loaded Emma into our vehicle and drove to Dave's aunt and uncle's home...it was absolutely surreal.
Thursday, February 23--Dave flew in around midnight on Wednesday night, and the next morning we left around 6:30 a.m. for Union, Missouri, which is on the opposite side of the state from Dave's aunt and uncle's. We arrived in Union around 1:00 that afternoon. My mom, David, Emma, and I stayed in a small apartment near the courthouse. Emma and Dave napped most of the afternoon at the apartment while my mom and I found a Starbucks and a Target! ;)
Friday, February 24--our court hearing was at 9:00 a.m. at the Franklin County Courthouse. Our lawyer told us that the parent who spoke better in public should take the stand first--we all know that is Dave, because all I could do when I was on the stand was cry.
In Missouri, a child who is being adopted is represented by his/her own lawyer.
This is Emma with her first (and hopefully only) lawyer. He testified that he had read our homestudy and believed it to be in Emma's best interest to be placed permanently in our family.
On the way back to Dave's aunt & uncle's house, we passed the town of Emma, Missouri.
Of course, we had to get out and get a picture by the town sign.
After we got back to Randy and Avis' house on Friday afternoon with Emma and my mom, David and I went to visit Emma's birthfather. We spent about an hour with him. He told us that after he and David talked on Tuesday, he felt like a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders and he felt great about signing.
We also spent several hours on Saturday afternoon with L, her mom and dad, and little sister at the mall in St. Joseph. None of us cried quite as much as we did when we said "goodbye" on Wednesday, and it was just a sweet time of talking together. They know we are headed back to Texas later this week and were grateful to soak in a few more moments with Emma. We are so thankful for L and her parents--in spite of the sadness they were experiencing, they have showed David and me so much grace, love & kindness.
Wow! Throughout this whole week, David and I looked at each other over and over in awe of how powerfully God has worked. Day by day, and often hour by hour, God was answering our prayers and giving us strength to keep moving ahead.
God, we have seen You move mountains before,
and we know that bringing Emma into our family was not too big or too hard for You!
We are so thankful for this precious gift! Thank You, Jesus!
From the bottom of our hearts, thank you for all the prayers, love, and support you have given our family over these past 2 weeks. We are so excited for you all to meet our sweet Emma!
Love, David & Bethany
